Holistic narratives - releasing the stories within

Over the last few weeks I have explored the way that the stories we have absorbed about ourselves – often with origins far back in our childhood – can become embedded within us to the point that we may begin to live out our narrative.

• noticing & prioritising those events & experience that confirm & consolidate our dominant story of who we are & how we cope.

• downplaying or minimizing those experiences or events that seem to contradict our story.

I’ve looked at the ways that we may have several narratives going on – a seemingly coping surface narrative that conceals a fearful falling apart narrative hidden beneath that we are desperate to hide & avoid at all costs & the ways these can intertwine affecting our capacity to reach our full potential.

I’ve considered ways that we can begin to externalise our story – giving it the position of a character within our lives – allowing ourselves opportunities to create a little distance between ourselves & the story of ourselves that we may be telling.

• noticing & getting familiar with what our story may want for us.

• noticing what this story may like & dislike & the ways this affects what we focus on

• noticing the ways this story speaks to us – the tone & language it uses to keep us aligned to its narrative.

• noticing all the subtle tricks this story can play to soothe & confuse us keeping us hooked into our storyline

& I’ve looked at other characters eg perfectionism & imposter syndrome that can feature alongside the main character in our narrative & the ways that these feed & fuel our narrative of ourselves.

This process of externalising the characters of our narrative helps us to become more conscious of the truth - we are not our story.

I’ve also looked at the ways that the phrase ‘stories told & stories lived’ can have a very literal meaning in the many ways that our very bodies – via our nervous system - can over time become negatively impacted by the depth weight & sheer prevalence of our story.

Each repeat consolidates our story, floods our system with surges of the emotions & the chemical & hormonal components of these emotions overload, overwork & generally weaken our capacity to function, leaving us vulnerable to aches & pains & issues with chronic illnesses, blood pressure, diabetes & issues with immune function.  

This week I want to focus on the ways that holistic therapies can help us to find ways to reduce the toxic power of the stories we may hold within us, releasing the hold they may have over us on a somatic & an energetic level.

People can often get a bit red flag woo-woo alert, particularly around the idea of energy medicine but keeping it simple – somatic means work that involves our body & when we speak of energy, if we keep is with simple science, energy is a simply something transferred from one object to another to create an action or motion.

So, if we think about our body under the duress of repeated exposure to highly stressful situations - all those moments where our story is getting triggered story over & over & we’re getting flooded with hormones like cortisol & adrenalin - over time, this sheer repetition can causes these hormones to start to pool & linger, getting stuck in particular areas of our body & eventually beginning to inhibit the free flow & exchange of energy between our cells in those areas – a free flow that should naturally be occurring just as part of being alive.

It’s in this way that our stories of ourselves can get stuck within us on a somatic & energetic level – over time their bodily impact gets laid down & imprinted in the very cells within us, causing them to alter & adapt in response to overwork & creating physical & energetic blockages that over time begin to affect our physical & emotional health.

Now the things is ,our body naturally wants to feel balanced – it’s always seeking out homeostasis – working to regulate itself & adjust to its environment & stay in a state of internal stability.

But the problem is, if we spend too long living in our story – the one that’s causing us high levels of stress on a physical & emotional level - our stability-seeking body learns to adjusts accordingly, looking for balance in this new normal.

& herein lies the problem because in this new normal it adapts & now expects to function in this state of high arousal.

• When our organs become so fully acclimatised to the surge rush & overwhelm of chemicals like adrenaline & cortisol those times when we are calm & our body is at rest can feel a bit weird. We’re so used to the hype of drama that we don’t even know how to get into rest & digest mode – we’re scanning the environment another problem or we’re unable to sit still, constantly looking for something to do to stay busy.

• When our limbs have become aligned to that brace position of tense anticipation we no longer even notice that our jaw is locked; our shoulders are raised & out hips are clenched & tight – that’s just become just our posture & adopting a posture that allows our bones, muscles & ligaments to all do their job effectively in partnership feels odd.

• & when our nervous system has become locked into scanning our environment for any sign of danger – senses primed, amygdala poised & ready to sound the alarm –  we can find ourselves seeing danger when it’s not even there eg a colleague’s preoccupied or even having their own bad day but we see their frown or scowl & this immediately triggers our story which may be ‘people don’t like me, I’m not wanted’. It barely touches conscious level, but our body has lived & imprinted our story one more time.

I’m a massive fan of Alex Howard from Conscious Life & he says that when we face lots of repeated stress our nervous system adapts & starts functioning in what he calls an activated state – it’s always looking for threat even when there is no threat there & this leads it to becoming dysregulated & it struggles to make those regular rhythmic transitions sympathetic to parasympathetic arousal  - primed & ready then back into rest & digest – over the day & it starts functioning in what he calls a maladaptive stress response.

He uses that great analogy of the frog in water that’s very slowly brought to the boil – when we’re in the trigger-response stress mode we don’t even notice when we’re getting cooked.

& our body needs those rhythmic shifts from primed & ready to rest & digest – it’s in this surge & regroup that it finds its other main skill – its natural ability to heal itself. The shifts into parasympathetic rest & digest allow our body to restore energy & also to regenerate, to rid itself of toxins, rogue cells or anything else that’s harmful to us.

But if we’ve accustomed to living within the boundaries of our story we’ve also all too often become adapted & stopped even noticing that we are functioning in a constant state of sympathetic arousal – primed & ready - & our body finds the shift into parasympathetic rest & digest unfamiliar, clunky & hard to achieve.

This is why when we’ve been highly stressed too often & too long we just can’t fall sleep even though we are emotionally & physically exhausted. It’s a state called tired & wired – our body needs to make its parasympathetic shift, but our gears have got stuck in the revved up sympathetic space.

So how can holistic medicine support us when our story has us stuck in primed & ready?

Well, at core, most holistic therapies help our body to restore its natural capacity to manage the smooth & rhythmic shifts from primed & ready to rest & digest & this then supports our body to do what it is naturally programmed to do – to seek internal balance & try to heal itself.

That’s not to say that anyone should forgo Western medicine tablets or treatments. I approach health holistically, but I would never advocate declining treatment – as my pharmacist says, sometimes our body needs a back-up army to support its work. For me holistic approaches can be a first line of defence & a powerful adjunct when other treatment is required.

I value the ways that holistic therapies can helps us shift our relationship with our health. All too often when we experience illness, & particularly chronic illness, we can find ourselves absorbed into the story of our illness. It is not a series of symptoms that are happening to us – the story of our illness becomes part of us, defining every moment of every day – often occupying the space of main character in our story of ourselves.

& it’s understandable. As someone with osteoarthritis in her spine, pain is a feature of every day for me & the level of pain I experience as I wake & place my feet on the ground can define my day ahead, so I know all too well that it’s all too easy to let my condition cramp & constrict my life simply in a desire to avoid & escape its story of pain.

But I love the ways that holistic therapies can help us to create the distance from our story. We are not our story of chronic pain. We had a life prior to this condition & we need & want to be able to live a life alongside its debilitating discomfort & I find that holistic therapies can support shifting our relationship, building our capacity to distance ourselves – repositioning our condition as a feature not the focus of our lives.  

The tools of externalising, so helpful in creating distance from our stories of ourselves, can help us notice the ways we are living story of our pain & ways debilitating pain controls us, telling us we should stay still & rest rather than try to push ourselves to try to move even though movement can help ease & shift the pain.

We may notice that when we think about trying to do something we will be immediately flooded with memories of how quickly we got tired & that we were then incapacitated for days so we get focused on doing less just to avoid setting it off.

We may notice that there may be a relationship with our mindset & possible fears of the future eg pain may flare just at the time when we want to get really focused on ideas or actions or when we allow ourselves to start dreaming of all that is possible & so we clamp down on dreams & trying to challenge ourselves because pain flares tell us its dangerous & will make us worse.

We may notice the ‘voice’ our pain has - it may be brutally sharp in its tone or it may be naggy & insistent or it may shift & swing between these two but we may become aware that the fact is it always wants to be heard & to have the last word from the moment we get up till the moment we lie down & when it’s upset & triggered it’s not going to let us even sleep. We may even notice that at times it’s going to hide & give me the impression that its eased only to sneak back without warning & nearly knock us off our feet.

Rather than trying to block & push away pain with tablets or bloody-minded pushing through, the holistic therapies I practice & teach support our capacity to find ways to accommodate, learn to accept & to sit with our pain or symptoms; to notice that disease is a state of dis-ease within our system & to learn to listen to our body’s story; helping it find opportunities to unburden & experience moments of ease as a route & a beginning of our journey back towards health.

If we begin to view our pain or our symptoms like a child showing big emotions & behaviours as a way to get attention, we can begin to notice the ways that our body is communicating with us. If we learn to listen & notice its narrative, we can begin to live alongside our symptoms rather than being controlled by them.

For me holistic therapies are part of the slow movement. In a world where we want instant results & immediate transformation, holistic therapies ask us to slow down & listen – to engage all of our senses & place ourselves in the broader context of our lives. When we are able to locate ourselves in this 360, we can begin to connect with ourselves & our health differently.

One of the tools I have found helpful in beginning to hear the story of my chronic illness to create a tracker. This kind of daily journal helps to create a landscape that build a picture of the story of our health issue – it makes visible the backdrop to its existence & it’s so helpful to understanding its behaviours, intentions & desires.

When we experience a flare of pain or other symptoms its helpful to notice

• what happened just before this episode? Physically & emotionally?

• think about what we may have eaten or drunk?

• have we had enough sleep & rest?

• Is there a hormonal aspect to the pain or symptom from menstruation to menopause?

When we begin to track the landscape of our condition it can help create that invaluable sense of distance – we are not our illness, it is a feature, not our life itself. It has a story; it responds to its environment; it has likes & dislikes & all of these inform the way it speaks to us.

Whether our pain is physical or emotional or, all too often a combination of both, I find that a blend of holistic therapies & mindset work can support our shifting our relationship with our health so I’m going to focus on three holistic therapies – Reiki, EFT & Somatic Therapy  -& the ways that I have employed these to help clients release the physical & energetic impact of painful stories they may hold about themselves & their lives.

Over the years I sought out Reiki & Emotional Freedom Technique when I faced challenging times, so it was natural that I chose to qualify in both Reiki & EFT at the start of my holistic work. Over time I’ve also brought somatic therapies, meditation, breathwork, Chakra work, crystal therapies & aromatherapy into my holistic portfolio.

In each of the holistic therapies I work with, I find that integrating a mindset component is so important to helping our nervous system to restore its natural rhythms which allows us to begin to let go of the impacts of the story we may be telling on a physical, emotional & energetic level.

When I offer Reiki treatments I like to explore what has been happening & the patterns & behaviours & physical symptoms that may be affecting my client. I’m listening to hear where the difficulties they are having may be affecting them on an emotional level so I can reach greater depth of understanding of where this may be held so I can better support their body to let go of the trapped energy around their story.

Eg a client I worked with had a story around being unable to cope at all with the stress of exams. They were smart; they understood their subject & they always had good grades but, in the run up to any exam, imposter syndrome would take hold & have them running through self-sabotaging behaviours – being unable to sit down & revise, engaging in constant rumination & negative procrastination & experiencing physical symptoms – headaches, nausea & flu-like symptoms that made them feel like they would not even make it to the exam. Each & every time. No matter how well any exam actually went in practice, this pattern of symptoms & behaviours & its story would emerge.

Logic said, based on past experience, all would be well, but her body said otherwise.

As I moved through treatment my hands were powerfully drawn to the area around the ribs & stomach & so much of the treatment lingered in this area, around the Solar Plexus Chakra - the site of our self-esteem & sense of self. Over time this Reiki work allowed the client’s body to let go of these symptoms of fear & overwhelm that were manifestations of feelings of shame & a belief that not achieving would be letting herself & her family down – a story that had been laid down in childhood when she had received praise & experienced feelings of love & security when she did well.

Mindset work helped her to understand her story & its roots while Reiki let her body release the hold that this story had on her nervous system, so she didn’t find herself moving into frozen fear. Exams were still periods of heightened feelings, but she could use these normal feelings of arousal in her sympathetic system to actually motivate herself & to stay focused on preparation rather than becoming frozen in fear & this appropriate use of the primed & ready in turn allowed her parasympathetic nervous system to kick in so she could rest & recuperate after studying & then after the exam itself.

With EFT I have developed a style where I blend narrative therapy into the treatment helping my client to identify a story they may hold about themselves & to build a picture of where this story started & all the ways it may have showed up across their life. With a narrative & history of the presentation of their story we can develop a tapping routine that can help to shift trapped energies that may have emerged in the context of this story, creating space for new ways of thinking, feeling & acting.

Eg I supported a client who had experienced separation anxiety as a child & had then experienced difficulties with confidence self-esteem & bullying within relationships that showed up at times from childhood right through to adulthood both within her personal & her professional life. Alongside these emotional issues she was also struggling with gut issues, insomnia & headaches.

When it came to mindset work, we explored the ways that her early experience of separation had left within her ingrained feelings of self-doubt & a lack of self-trust that in turn led her to struggle with having a sense of her own worth which then left her vulnerable to power struggles within relationships & to being unable to own & sustain a clear sense of her own power & value within the relationship.

We developed a tapping routine - tapping on key acupressure points across her face & upper body as she told her story, noticing key moments in the ways that it had played out across her life. We considered the ways she spoke about herself internally & to others & the ways that this language consolidated her story till it felt like it was part of her. We explored the range of emotions she felt about her story, allowing space for grief & anger at all the ways this story had cramped her life & her sense of self. Finally we created space to acknowledge all the ways that she had challenged & subverted this story & this opened-up new feelings of pride in herself for her journey towards healing & helped her to build a new & powerful counter narrative that strengthened new sensations of self-belief & self-trust.

This 3-step programme of tapping through telling the story, exploring the emotions & developing a new story over time helped to release the impact of this story within her mind & body & helped her to consolidate new ways of thinking, feeling & acting & with a shift in mindset the physical symptoms also began to ease. Processing & digesting the painful narrative of her story & finding healthier nutrients of a counter narrative helped her body to move out of the constant primed & ready so it could literally rest & digest food & nutrition more easily which over time soothed her digestion & as she stopped constantly overthinking & living in her head around her story of how it had all gone wrong, she was able to settle to sleep more easily which had the added bonus of easing the number of headaches she experienced.

With Somatic work, a therapy that focuses on the body & movement I like to explore the story that a client may have held & then look at different techniques that can help to honour & then release the emotions that this story may have stirred within them & the physical symptoms it may have aroused.

It is so important not to run from the emotions that our story may have stirred within us because these emotions have been leaving traces within us each time we experienced them & every time we have tried to block them with avoidance & invalidation they don’t disappear, they just sit trapped in our nervous system.

So with the same client who’d struggled with bullying & victimization it was clear that her experiences & her story of these has led to many years of feelings of frustration, of anger, of shame & deep layers of sadness & grief & these were all sitting within her nervous system & these emotions were connected to the physical symptoms – headaches, back pain & hip issues &  itself & as she moved through letting go of her story, each of these feelings & symptoms need to be honoured, witnessed & held in order to be released.

Mindset work helped her explore the impact of these unheard emotions on an intellectual level while somatic work allowed these emotions to be metabolised through the body because just like digesting food, we need to chew & digest & assimilate our emotions, learning what we need from our experience & then pushing out what is not wanted or required.

Different somatic exercises can be used for different emotions & we may need a range of different somatic exercises because our story may carry with it a range of unprocessed emotional baggage.

• Rocking – wrapping our arms round ourselves to rock ourselves like a babe in arms or slowly & gently stroke our palms together are somatic exercises that soothe our nervous system allowing us to tenderly hold grief & sadness.

• Other emotions need a different approach eg stuck emotions of anger & frustration respond well to more vigorous physical movement eg punching & allowing ourselves to scream - in this one a pillow not a person please. Nothing like punching out rage into a big squashy pillow or finding an open private space to issue a big roar of frustration (or screaming it into said pillow if an open space is not available & you don’t want to worry the neighbours)

• Another great somatic technique is to shake out shame. This one is grounded in understanding the ways that animals behave in nature. When eg a deer has managed to escape a predator, it will pause & shake before moving away & this action allows it us shift the chemical overload from the trauma of the chase. By the same token when we shake – arms, legs, torso, our whole body we are shaking out the deeply held traces of wounds like shame from the very core of our being & allowing just a few minutes a day for shaking can help to metabolize these very difficult & painful emotions.

All of these somatic exercises can be restorative – helping to shift stuck emotions within our bodies & also preventative – shifting those feelings before they’ve had a chance to find a space to linger within.  

NB When it comes to holistic therapies it’s important to note that we can experience symptoms after a treatment – we may experience headaches, tiredness, nausea, upset tummy or even a temporary increase or increased awareness of pain. This is normal & part of our body beginning to release the issue that may have been trapped within.

If you have found this exploration of the ways that we can get stuck in our stories interesting & you are interested in learning more about the range of holistic therapies I can offer please email me laura@lbruceholistictherapies.com.

Warm wordy hugs

Laura xx